Thursday, 30 December 2010

Things i've learnt this year.

  • Tuborg Lager served at outdoor gigs and festivals is rubbish. It tastes like piss and you will be charged almost four quid for the privilege of drinking it. Gaymers cider is almost as bad but at least has some semblance of flavour about it.
  • Paul Weller has still got 'it', whatever 'it' is.
  • A coalition government in this country will never work. Not while the 'them and us' status-quo is perpetuated.
  • My life will NOT be any more complete with an iPad in it. It will not make me happier and it will not simplify things for me. It will however leave me £600 out of pocket for the dubious honour of being able to show off to my friends that I'm an Apple 'fan boy'. Although the wife and i have just ordered iPhones in a moment of weakness.
  • Edgar Wright is the greatest living film director bar none.
  • The 'organisation' that you work for care no more about you than they do for a lump of dog shit stuck to the bottom of their shoe. You are a drone, a number, a peon to them. Once you realise it's best to not bother offering opinions and idea's in your place of work because you'll inevitably be ignored, the better. Things may be different for you if you're willing to lie, cheat, back stab and crawl over your colleagues to further yourself.....but none of us want to be that 'person' do we? Turn up, do your bit, keep your trap shut, never ever walk out of the door at the end of the day carrying any stress with you and draw your wages once a month. There are FAR more important things in life than making money for people who couldn't give a shit about you.
  • Some people enjoy the drama and attention of being in a shitty, pox ridden, failing marriage with an abusive partner. No matter what advice you give them they will never listen.
  • Married life, if you give a little and take a little, is pretty damn good.
  • Chelsea FC will always bring as much pain as joy to it's supporters.
  • The Coral are the finest band in the UK today. Closely followed by The Bees, Doves and The Arctic Monkeys. Anyone who doesn't realise this is too 'cool' or 'arch' to understand what you mean.
  • Only good can come from the student riots.
  • Ed Milliband is quite obviously a feckless toad who has 'bum licked' his way into a position of power. He symbolises everything the working classes should hate, yet the dyed in the wool Labour voters seem to like him. Work that one out. Oh and did i mention i can't look at him without thinking of Ray Romano?
  • The Alistair Campbell stage managed farewell from Gordon Brown as he walked off into the sunset having washed his hands of thirteen years of running the country into the ground was probably the most nauseating thing witnessed this year.
  • Peter Mandelson is still a cunt.
  • Sky News should never be watched if it's real, unedited, propaganda free news you're searching for. Ditto the BBC.
  • My day is now incomplete if i miss the Radio 4 Afternoon Play.
  • Barack Obama was the greatest con-trick ever pulled. Impressive really.
  • It's okay to say that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan ARE illegal.
  • Gazza will bring you chicken, lager and a fishing rod if you're in the middle of a gun siege with the Police.
  • The Kings Of Leon are actually a very very good band.
  • Facebook CAN be a force for good by connecting us all together, but it is still choc-full of people who can barely string a sentence together, which annoys me more than it probably should.
  • Ten minutes after the final Chilean miner was rescued i no longer gave a toss about them.
  • I still don't understand the 'vampire' thing.
  • Giving up smoking was a piece of piss. Anyone who says they can't do it is lying. You don't need patches, gum, injections or tablets that are foisted upon you by greedy, scaremongering pharmaceutical companies, all you need is to show some fortitude and say 'no' when you fancy a smoke. Easy.

And on that note, i wish you all a healthy, wealthy and prosperous 2011.

Rob H

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